Age comparison chart for children doing housework, only if you are reluctant to use your child will it delay him
Being willing to use children is related to their lifelong success and happiness, and is an invisible wealth that accompanies them throughout their lives.
In Japan, there is a 5-year-old girl.
She gets up at six in the morning and starts cooking and folding laundry.
Clean, feed the dog, and keep everything in order around the house.
Don’t act coquettishly, don’t cry.
Why do four- and five-year-old children become so considerate?
This comes from the “deep love and deep affection” of a mother suffering from cancer.
“I have no money, no power, no status, and I have no idea what to leave to my daughter before I die.
After thinking about it, I can only teach her how to cook and do housework, so that she can live her life seriously. You can live well even if you are alone. “
Before leaving, she wanted to give the child two things.
Cancer-stricken mother gives birth to daughter
Get up at 6 o’clock every day, cook and clean
this is a true story.
The father of the 5-year-old girl Ahua is a reporter for the Nippon News Agency, and her mother Chie is a music teacher.
Chie was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 25.
Even though her husband, Shingo Antake, knew that Chie had cancer, he still chose to marry her.
In 2001, Qianhui ended treatment for breast cancer, but the treatment had already affected her ability to conceive.
Two years later, Qianhui unexpectedly learned that she was pregnant.
The moment she saw her daughter, Qianhui thought it was a miracle:
“At this moment, I know that there is a treasure in life that is more important than myself. Because the arrival of the child proves that I have been in this world…”
From pregnancy to delivery, Qianhui’s physical condition has always been very good.
Until May 2004, Qianhui’s breast cancer recurred.
When “I will leave at any time” becomes a topic that Qianhui and her husband cannot avoid.
She began to think: “What should I leave for my daughter so that she can live well without her mother?”
It dawned on her: She could teach her 4-year-old daughter to do household chores such as cooking, laundry, and sweeping the floor.
In this way, even if she leaves, Ahua can take care of herself.
In the summer of 2007, my daughter Ahua’s 4th birthday arrived.
The gift her mother gave her was a floral apron.
And dad’s gift is even cooler, a set of kitchen knives for primary school students.
“I remember the first time I saw A-Hua using a knife, my heart almost jumped out of my chest, but I still held back my words and didn’t reach out…”
She carefully compiled a cooking note for her daughter, and when she was not around, she asked her daughter to cook Japanese cuisine according to the method in the note.
Starting with a bowl of miso soup, she taught her daughter how to make Japanese snacks, taught her how to wash clothes, and began to bid farewell to her child in a warm way.
The most precious “legacy”: Live every day with serious effort
Qianhui wrote a message to her children on her blog:
“Ahua, cooking is closely related to life. I want to teach you how to hold a kitchen knife and how to do housework. Studying can come second.
As long as you are healthy and able to support yourself, you will be able to survive no matter where you go or what you do in the future. “
In 2008, her mother Qianhui passed away with her family by her side.
From then on, Ahua and her father continued their lives.
Ahua followed her mother’s instructions and prepared breakfast, walked the dog, brushed her teeth and washed her face, played the piano, and went to school.
After coming home from school in the afternoon, I clean, hang clothes, tidy up the room…
Before her father came home, she moved a small stool and took out the kitchen knife.
Put the tofu in your little hands, cut it slowly, prepare the ingredients, and turn on the fire.
A child who lost his mother at the age of five still lives a solid and warm life.
Because her mother taught her to be independent and to love life.
When Ahua was ten years old, she wrote in her diary: “Mom, there is something I want to tell you: I will make all the lunches myself!”.
“Cook carefully and eat seriously” is Qianhui’s philosophy of life.
This is also the most precious gift that a mother has left for her 5-year-old daughter.
Why do you insist on teaching your children to make miso soup?
In Qianhui’s view, the word “eating” is by no means as simple as it seems on the surface.
In addition to the desire for food and drink, it also contains the energy and wisdom to deal with life’s problems.
People who can eat well can also live well.
I can cook well and gradually become independent.
Elizabeth Pantry, an American parenting expert, once designed an “Age Chart for Children to Learn to Do Housework” based on the characteristics of children of different ages, which is worth collecting by parents.
9–24 months: Give the child some simple and easy instructions, such as letting the child throw away his dirty diapers.
2–3 years old: Let children help throw away garbage, help pick up things, organize their own toys, etc.
3–4 years old: Children can be asked to help feed pets, water flowers and plants, return dirty tableware to the kitchen after meals; learn to brush their teeth, use the toilet, etc.
4–5 years old: Learn to help mom make the bed before going to bed; help prepare tableware before meals; help mom put folded clean clothes back into the closet;
Put your dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket; prepare your own clothes for the next day, etc.
5–6 years old: Not only must be proficient in housework required in the previous stages, but also be able to help clean the table; tidy up the room (will pick up messy things and put them back in their place).
6–7 years old: Wash dishes with the help of parents and be able to clean their own room independently.
7–12 years old: can make simple meals; help wash the car; vacuum and mop the floor; clean the bathroom and toilet; sweep leaves and snow; be able to use the washing machine and dryer; move the trash can to the street at the door (there is a garbage truck Come and collect).
13 years and above: Can change a light bulb; change the garbage bag in the vacuum cleaner; clean the refrigerator, stove and oven; cook, use the washing machine; make a list of things to buy; mow the lawn, etc.
According to the “Children’s Housework Reference List”, three-year-olds can do housework. Qianhui teaches Xiaohua:
If you want to respect your own life and be kind to your own life, you must start with small things like cooking and eating.
This kind of early education not only taught Xiaohua the ability to survive, but also gave her the belief to move forward bravely.
Parents setting an example are the best role models for their children
When life encounters difficulties, Qianhui writes in her blog: If you feel confused, then move in the direction of your passion.
She also often tells her children: No matter how difficult, annoying or troublesome things are, there will always be a way to solve them, just like what her mother often said, “change your mind.”
She also carefully wrote a recipe book and left it to Ahua: If you want to eat well, you must cook carefully. Whether you are eating or cooking, you can’t be fooled.
In fact, Xiaohua sees all these teachings and remembers them in her heart.
Ten-year-old Ahua wrote:
“Don’t speak ill of others, and don’t forget to smile. These are things my mother taught me.”
“Although I also find it difficult, there must be a way to reach the mountain. Ahua has stopped crying…”
Educator Ushinsky once said: “Role models are a very beneficial energy to children’s hearts, and nothing can replace this kind of sunshine.”
From the perspective of child psychology, role models have a crucial influence on children during the critical period of character formation and habit development, which is 0–6 years old.
The good behavior of parents can establish a vague sense of mission in their children.
When a child encounters a similar situation again, he will have a benchmark to “do like dad and mom.”
One time, little Ahua peed her pants, and her father took her to take a bath.
A-hua said: “When mom and dad turn into wrinkled old grandparents, if they wet their pants, A-hua will come and change your diapers and wash your butts, okay?”
Qianhui often cooked for the elderly during her lifetime.
What she had done had unknowingly affected the children.
This explains an important truth:
The strength of every child and the ability of every child to love really do not appear out of thin air.
It comes from the words and deeds of parents in daily life, and from the fact that children have been loved.
The end point of every child’s growth: becoming independent.
Last week, my friend complained to me: “My 6-year-old daughter has grown so big that she can’t do anything. She even needs help to put on her shoes. What should I do?”
This is certainly not an exception.
We can often see stories like this in our lives:
Parents complain that their children don’t know anything, and at the same time help their children take care of everything.
Always tell your children that learning is the most important thing, and don’t let them learn to do any housework;
Worrying and anxious about the future of their children, wishing they could explore the road and avoid all pitfalls first;
Children never make independent choices.
Of course, there is no life experience gained by oneself.
“The only thing parents have to do is to cultivate their children’s ability to take care of their own lives.”
In a Japanese variety show called “First Class”, the process of children leaving their parents for the first time and going out alone to complete household chores was recorded.
Traveling independently from your parents is a bit difficult for a three-year-old child.
The little girl Li Ai started to cry when she knew she had to buy flowers for her mother by herself.
With her father’s encouragement, she set out in tears, and completed the task while moaning and crying all the way.
Not only are the children’s real-life performances heartwarming and cute, but the distressed and reluctant expressions of the parents in the show are also touching.
Yes, children will always have these moments:
When going out alone for the first time, parents had to endure a long time waiting for their children.
When entering school for the first time, children have to learn to express themselves and make new friends on their own.
When entering society, children can only discern their future path through one’s own exploration.
All this needs to be done by the child alone.
All of this also requires parents to let go.
Only after the moment when parents let go can children begin to truly grow.
The poet Yu Ge said something very right:
“You can give your children anything. But you cannot give them life experiences, joys, sorrows, successes and setbacks.
If he cannot experience these, he will have no sense of gain in life. “
“Arranged education” is like that widely circulated joke:
After the children come home, they always say “Mom, I’m hungry”, “Mom, can I go out to play?”, “Mom, I can’t do this question!”…
Therefore, in the end, the child will only turn to “Mom” for help.
True maternal love is a just-right exit
In Qianhui’s blog, we can often see such details.
When a child cooks for himself for the first time, even though Ahua looks quite scary when using a knife.
But Qianhui still held back her voice and didn’t reach out.
Instead tell her:
“Ah Hua, the hand that’s not holding the kitchen knife should be closed like a cat’s paw. It’s dangerous to stick out your fingers.”
If the food was cooked badly, she and Ahua would find the reason together.
Qianhui said: “When teaching children to do things, the most important thing is to let them think and experience independently and finish things by themselves.”
Faced with every attempt, she did not push the child out of the kitchen, nor did she prepare a meal and feed it herself.
This kind of restraint and “indifference” contains Qianhui’s extremely affectionate love for Ahua.
Although she wasn’t doting, she wasn’t in a hurry either.
This is also the reason why Ahua can grow into a sunny and healthy girl.
Because it is not only strong people who are independent, but only children who are fully loved, accepted, and respected can be truly independent.
When a child is fully loved, her personality development will be healthier and her independence will be stronger.
The development of children’s self-care ability is a natural and gradual process.
Parents who are not impatient or impatient can help their children develop self-reliance.
True maternal love is a just right exit that gives the child the ability to be independent.
Qianhui taught her children independence and self-esteem by setting an example.
This is a lifelong gift that a mother spent her last moments in her life giving to her children.
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